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Reflections: Meaning

In my reflections, I meditate on moments during my dance journey, volunteering work in dementia care, work as a psychologist, and more.

I briefly looked into the waiting room, but there was no one there yet. So I decided to grab something to drink first. Yawning, I placed my cup under the machine and pressed "hot water." As I heard the water flowing in, I opened a tea bag and placed it in the cup. Waiting for the green light on the machine, I slowly drifted off into my thoughts, turned the clock back an hour, and found myself back in bed. The moment I become aware that I am waking up from my sleep, I still marvel to this day at the mystery of being. A question as old as the first thought ever formed in the universe. Where the film of vivid dreams ends, a familiar film is presented to me: this life. The conscious memories wake up with me, like a computer that reloads all its files after being turned off. The constant being of our existence, which knows multiple forms of perception. Humanity still tries to grasp the incomprehensible. It either loses itself completely in despair or completely misses the point. For how do you tolerate the incomprehensible? How do you endure mystery?


Sentences I hear back in the consultation room often start with the words "in hindsight." And in response, I often quote Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard: "Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards." In hindsight, everything is logical. We draw connections, recognize patterns, and think we understand. We call it logic, it makes sense, and it's predictable. And the moment you think you know, that's where the illusion begins. The search for an explanation is like that of Sisyphus. The unsatisfying realization that you can’t get there. And there arises that timeless question: what is the meaning of all this? There still isn't a unanimous answer to this question. And personally, I don't think this question can be answered. The question is an invitation to a deeper follow-up question: what meaning do I give to it?


Meaning arises from creation, both consciously and unconsciously. Desires and needs. Humans are capable of creating themselves. From new lives to ideas that can inspire the lives of others. The exchange of thoughts. The paradox that a person can never be entirely unique because they are a fusion of everyone and everything around them, which, in turn, makes them unique. We share thoughts, beliefs, but perhaps not down to the deepest core.


Both success stories and tragedies still exist side by side. Where something happens, something else happens elsewhere. We talk about good and evil. But that doesn't matter. Because why would it matter if you can't give it meaning? We see meaning in cheerful workers and a lack of meaning in unhappy elite. And it's not about profession or financial situation. It's about meaning.


When a person is provided with all their (basic) needs, they can focus on fulfilling the next human need: meaning. Also called self-actualization accordimg to the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Both in my office and beyond, I see many people in survival mode. It seems that new basic needs have emerged in recent years, and the path to human fulfillment seems to be getting longer. And then the mysterious rock falls on them. People get frustrated, desperate, angry, and look hopelessly at the long road they unknowingly created themselves. And instead of shortening the road, they search for ways to go back down the long road again. Once again, missing the point.


It is often said that by living in the here and now, by focusing on the positive, many worries fade into the background. A more holistic approach would be to embrace the whole situation. The superficial joy of embracing a healthy and cheerful puppy doesn't compare to the deeper layer of joy felt when you hold a helpless puppy in your arms. Being meaningful, that is meaning. We can derive it from our work, hobbies, and relationships with others. When someone loses what gave their life meaning, they feel lost. And they quickly think it’s just about the loss of a job, a relationship, or health, but the underlying issue is, of course, the meaning it gave to that person's life.


The light turns from red to green. I take my cup of warm tea from the machine and walk towards the consultation room as the landline phone rings on the desk. "Your client is coming up now," says the secretary's voice cheerfully. And with the same cheerfulness, something awakens within me at that moment: today's meaning.


Sisyphus rock by artist Seero Chan (Hong Kong)
Sisyphus rock by artist Seero Chan (Hong Kong)

© 2024 N.W.

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